The Sandbox

Amnesia, Art, Healing

2/23/17

6:56AM

Authenticity

Up working for a half hour. And now…Authenticity. 

A

How does it feel to have hoisted the complaint up and out onto the website?

S

Unpredictably I feel these two extremes: what it might feel like to go through the process and then, on the other side of it, this visualizing of me hiking up a mountain, alone, the episode behind me—not erased but far behind me. 

I see new territory. But I can feel old business too. 

I am feeling…both. 

A

Does either feel better?

S

Presently it seems like I can’t have one without the other. That I need to resolve this old business—either inside me or outside of me. I can’t help that it still haunts me—not as badly but it’s still there. It’s not a roaring meditation but it’s a simmering one. 

A

It compels our consideration. 

S

Yes. 

A

And on the new horizon front? 

S

I am presently captivated by clay—by both my own but perhaps setting up a ceramics center for sick kids. Either a mobile unit or a place in house where I could get donations for a kiln and materials, etc. and set it up. I have the right contacts and I could make it happen and I think using clay to bring piece to kids—or let’s just say an unwell population—turns me on. 

I just am not sure what kind of facility to approach. 

A

Excellent. 

S

It feels right. 

A

So this hike into new territory is beginning to take shape. 

S

A tiny bit. 

A

We will have our own kiln by spring. Our creatures continue to evolve too. 

S

Oddly, in ways unimagined, yes, they evolve. 

A

How so?

S

I am wrapping them up in blankets. It captivates me to have this little creatures with a blanket tossed over them. I like allowing a blanket of clay to naturally fall over them, to flow onto the floor of the piece. There is something about it…I just want to follow. I develop glazing considerations now for these blankets that could look lovely covered differently. They give me another kind of canvas. 

A

We allow…we hike…we find. 

S

Yes. 

A

And therapy?

S

Once a week is no problem. My hike has me considering how no more therapy will feel. And I begin to imagine myself and how I am already filling the time. 

A

This is the way termination should work. The right way. 

S

I’ve done it jumping out of a burning building, A. And I’m doing it this way now. 

A

Timing?

S

I’ll do it by feel. I will see how today’s session goes. 

A

Allow, allow, allow.